GINA CHIAVERINI (FRANKFURT)
I had a life like a lot of people, following the Catholic Religion. But everything got complicated. It was April 25th, 2007 when, all of a sudden, everything has changed. My husband fell ill and he died in 9 months, leaving me and my family terribly empty. I found myself alone, my life had completely changed and I spent my days crying and visiting the cemetery. I thought it was better to reach my husband. I couldn’t think of anything else, trying to destroy myself. I thought only about myself, allowing sadness to ruin my, my kids and my nephews’ lives. I was very mad at the Lord, because I thought He had punished me. “Why?” I asked myself. I didn’t pray anymore, I made wrong thoughts, I sinned.. I didn’t care about anything else. Donatella, my nephew, stayed next to me during those long months. She began to tell me about Jesus; often she used to read me verses of the Bible, trying to make me realize that what had happened had a reason. I had to accept God’s will, I had to pray the Lord. I knew that if I had faith, He would have raised me up. At the beginning, I didn’t give much thought to what she used to tell me, but she kept staying so close to me, that I was prevailed upon accepting a visit from brother Giuliano. When he came for the 1st time, he told me a lot of things, but my heart was closed, as hard as a stone, and his words were not helpful to me. I was desperately alone and I thought that nobody could help me. Anyway, I accepted to go listening the Bible explanations on Saturday, even if I was not so interested in it. Some months passed, when I was invited to the baptisms of the church. I went there by curiosity, to distract myself from all my pains. I remember as if it were today: I entered the room, there were many people, and as somebody was pushing me, I took a seat in the 1st line. It was wonderful! Those songs, those sweet songs!! Anna got baptized and I was standing there, motionless, when the ceremony came to an end. I had my eyes full of tears, my heart was opening itself, that stone was melting with the song “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord”. Something had happened. It was a wonderful emotion, I realized the Lord had not forsaken me, and then I told Donatella everything and, like she always did, she stayed close to me. I began to ask God to forgive me for my sins, I began to pray, I bought a Bible and I started reading it. Since that day I feel that the Lord is next to me, I feel Him, I feel His lead. Now I see what I could not see before. He is my Light. My life has changed a lot. I read the Bible every day, I pray, I ask forgiveness for my mistakes. I learned to respect my neighbour, I learned to apologize, I learned that there is no faith without works. I learned not to covet others’ belongings, not to lie. I learned to love my neighbour and to forgive who hurts me. I still have a lot to learn, but with God by my side I am not afraid, He leads me. I realize everyday that Jesus is my Lead.